On Tuesday May 9, Mr. D and I attended the VIP Grand Opening event for a restaurant called Cafe Rio. I had been having some lower back pain since earlier at work that day, but assumed it was normal "body-getting-ready-for-labor" signs and no idea that I would go into labor that evening. After Mr. D and I ate, I attended a church Relief Society activity. I felt worse than usual at the end of the activity, so I called Mr. D on the drive home to complain about my lower back pain and talk my way through it. While I had been at the activity, Mr. D had decided to put the carseat in the car, which was a job he had kept putting off because it made having a baby "too real".
At home I drank a tall glass of water and relaxed on the couch for a bit, which is what I had been instructed by my doctor to do when I was experiencing braxton hicks (practice contractions) or other similar third-trimester problems. After relaxing on the couch for a bit, I decided to draw up a bath and googled "early labor signs" and "how to stop early labor" on my phone.
I had heard that for labor contractions the uterus is supposed to get hard and then relax and my pain was mostly in my back, so I did not think I was in preterm labor. I did notice a slight tummy ache that would come and go with my back pain, so I asked Mr. D to download a contraction tracking app on his phone and to time these pains "like contractions". We timed about 8 "contractions" in 30 minutes, I called my mom to ask her what she thought, and she told me I probably wasn't in labor, but I could call the doctor if it would make me feel better. When I called the doctor they told me to go ahead and come in and so Mr. D packed us some hospital bags "just in case" and we drove to the hospital. Since I was a couple days shy of 36 weeks (a little over a week shy of the magic 37 weeks number), I assumed we would get to the hospital, the doctor would wave a magic wand at me Harry-Potter style, the preterm contractions would stop, and I would be on my way. I did not know we would be able to meet our baby boy the following day.
At the hospital they checked my urine for a possible infection, measured me at 2 cm, and told me to watch a movie and hang out there for a bit to observe me. From the things they said I could tell they didn't think I was in labor, but they were happy to let me, an over-concerned patient, hang out there for a bit.
Two hours later around 1:30a I was at 4 cm, negative for any infections, and they told me they weren't going to stop my labor, but that I would be able to give birth. I was a little surprised, but one of my friends had let me borrow a packet on coping with labor a few days before and I had spent 10 minutes reading it, so I figured I was as prepared as I could ever be. I had purposefully not learned too much about labor because I didn't want to hear traumatizing stories that would make me nervous. (Mr. D and I did take a child preparation class at the hospital that was very informative that I would recommend anyone having a first child take!) Thankfully my 18-hour labor would end up being pretty smooth. I got a shot of steroids to my hip to help Neil with some last-minute lung development and was transitioned to the labor room.
In the labor room my nurse fed me cherry popsicles, let me labor in the tub, gave me puke bags, and a few hours after that I was 6 1/2 to 7 cm and ready for the epidural. At one point during my laboring Mr. D told me he wanted to grab a few things from the car. I didn't want him to go, but I told him he had 3 contractions to be back. I didn't have a good threat/follow through punishment in case he took longer, but thankfully he was back within that 3 contraction limit I gave him. The nurse brought in the guy to administer the epidural shot pretty quick after I said I wanted it and shortly after receiving the shot I felt a lot of relief. So much relief that I even asked Mr. D and the nurse if I was still having contractions, which I of course was, but I just wasn't feeling them.
A few hours later we texted my parents to let them know today was the day! I also texted my work carpool buddy to let her know I wouldn't be in and my work managers to let them know I would be starting my maternity leave and that I would give them more updates as I had them. I progressed a lot more slowly the last bit. A doctor broke my water for me. My contractions started getting less regular, I pushed some, and we realized that baby Neil was turned sideways instead of anterior/posterior, so the doctor came back in to turn him. I heard later that turning a baby can be painful for mom, but thanks to epidural land I don't remember feeling a thing! I guess when I had pushed that first while, I was creating quite the bruise and cone-head on baby Neil. A few hours later the nurses told me I was ready to push again and an hour and a half later we welcomed Neil into the world! The last 20 minutes or so of pushing were pretty tough for me (especially with how hungry I felt!), but it was super rewarding when the nurse and Mr. D told me they could see his head, encouraged me along, and eventually invited the doctor in for the final pushes.
Everyone was pretty excited when Neil finally came out. I loved seeing his little body and hearing him scream. He got cleaned up, we got some skin-on-skin time, and about an hour later my parents joined us at the hospital. Neil would end up spending some time in the nicu for low glucose that night, so we got to spend extra time in the hospital completing extra tests for him and giving me more time to recover. It's true what parents say about the sleep deprivation and being stupid tired, so I was glad we got to be in a hospital setting with the added support of the nursing staff.
I feel especially taken aback by how tender the whole experience was. I am still surprised by how sweet it is watching our boy sleep and Mr. D, Neil, and I all enjoyed being able to celebrate my first Mother's Day together. I love watching my husband be a father and seeing how good he is at it all. I believe my birthing experience and recovery are a big tender mercy from The Lord and feel it is such a privilege to be able to be Neil's mom. Mr. D and I are very grateful for all the friends and support we've received so far to help with the transition.
-Mrs. M
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